her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
