Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
