You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Drunk is not a location!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
