Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
