the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
