So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
