ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
