You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
