doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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