I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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