I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
