I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
