You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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