did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
