well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
