I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
