Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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