I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
