exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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