i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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