Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
