I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
