why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
