Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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