Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
