don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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