How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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