In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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