I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
