What a fucking waste of an outfit
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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