No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
