haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
