She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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