your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
