Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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