Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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