Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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