it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
