I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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