So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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