i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize