Don't you send me to vm
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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