it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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