ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
