It's Friday. Sex?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
