You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
