I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
