bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
