I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
