dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
