All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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