Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
