Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
