Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
