Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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