I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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