like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
