i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
