You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
