and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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