every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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