That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
