he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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