I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
