He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize