He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
