So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
